Friday, 29 November 2013

Phrases I never pictured myself saying...

"No swordplay on the stairs, guys."

"Don't use your brother as a skateboard."

"No nudity at the dinner table, please."

"Grapes are not ammo."

"The couches are not trampolines."

"The cat is not a pillow."

"No, sweetheart, I doubt your teacher's a Sith Lord."

"Penises are for private."

"What are you doing on the kitchen counter?"

"Well if you're really a Jedi you can use the Force. No hitting."

"Boys, where's Mommy's pink purse?"

"Stop eating your big brother's socks."

"Let's not eat the dirt. How about a snack instead?"

"Can we take soccer practice outside please?"

"Who would like to tell me why your baby brother's hair is purple?"

"No, there is no T-Rex under your bed. Yes, I will check."

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